A woman visited her parent's home. When she opened the refrigerator, she found a picture of supermodel in a bikini. Lady: Mom, what's this? Mom: Oh, I put up that picture, which reminds me not to over eat. Lady: Is it working? Mom: Yes and No. I've lost 9 kg's but your dad has gained 22 kg's..!
A drunk man arrives late at home. He knows his wife won't open the door, so he decides to pretend he bought her flowers & knocks at the door. Wife: Who is it ? Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty lady. Wife opens the door & says: Where are the flowers?