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In USA when couples go to bed they say "Good Night My Love" in UK "Sweet Dreams Darling" . . . . . . . . But In India ..... " Have you locked all the doors or not..?? "

A husband and wife were watching boxing on television, where the opponent was knocked out at the first minute Husband: it sucks it all gets over in one minute Wife:now you know how I feel...

Pappu sent SMS to his BOSS: "Me sick, no work". Boss SMS back:- "When I am sick I kiss my wife", try it... 2 hours later pappu sms 2 boss: "Me ok, ur wife very sweet".

Boy: *calls 911* Boy : Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning. X_X =))

Sumona: How much do you love me ? . . pappu: I love U so much, I can't measure. . . Sumona: No just tell me…. . . pappu : Okay, I am like a cellphone & you are my SIM card, i am nothing without you… . . Sumona: Wow ! that's so romantic… . . pappu (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn't know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR SIM cards

Never make a women cry. There is nothing more expensive than a female tear. When a single drop comes out, it first mixes with 'Loreal' eyeliner(Rs.650)& 'Dior' mascara (Rs.2500). Then when it rolls down the cheek, it mixes with 'D&G' blusher (Rs.2500). & finally when it touches the lips, it gets mixed with 'Maybelline' lipstick (Rs.350). This means that a single drop is ruining Rs.6000. Please don't make them cry guys.

TEACHER: Osama has 5 wife& 20 children. Lalu has 1 wife&9 children. Who is better? pappu: Osama score is GOOD! But Lalu Strike rate is better.

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.

santabanta Santa Saw A Beautiful Girl. He Went & Kissed Her. . . Girl: What Are You Doing? . . . . Santa: Law, 4th Semester From Punjab University.

I got a call from BANK and the GIRL said sir if you invest 4000/- per month you will get 1 cr after your retirement. I replied nice offer but make it reverse give me 1cr today and take 5000/- PM from me till my RETIREMENT. She simply disconnected the call.

Once a British Asked Swami Vivekanand, "Can't you wear proper clothes .. to be a Gentleman?" Swami Vivekanand smiled nd said... . . "In your culture, Tailor makes Gentleman, but in our culture CHARACTER makes Gentleman"

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door. . A lady opened it. Before she could speak, . the salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet. . Salesman : Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, i'll EAT all this Shit! . Lady : Do u need Chilli Sauce with that? . Salesman : why Madam ? Lady : Because there's no electricity in the house...knock knock jokes

Girlfriend setting password for her laptop with boyfriend sitting beside her.. . . She types "BRAIN" as password . . Boyfriend fell down of his chair laughing Bcoz . . . . . Laptop replied: "TOO SMALL " !!!

Hey Vodafone ,airtel ,idea, does it feel bad that.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . now we have WhatsApp and you can't beg 1.50 Rs per SMS like every Diwali ?

A First Bench Student Knows the Answer of Every Problem . . . But Last Bench Students Knows how to Face Every Problem \m/

Breaking News... NASA closed.. . . Rajnikant bought all the rockets for diwali…. Happpy Diwali

Husband texts to wife on cell.. " Hi, what r u doing Darling? " Wife : I'm dying..! Husband jumps with joy but types " Sweet Heart, how can I live without You ? " Wife : " U idiot ! I'm dying my hair.." Husband : "Bloody English Language !!! "